Tales from the beauty front

Guilty as charged for using the fako press on nails for years.  I used to glue jewels, make mini paintings, pour on glitter and spend a huge amount of time focusing on long, sparkly nails.  I even had the acrylic nails put on once and felt woozy from the fumes after leaving the salon.  I promptly jammed my nail on the car door and the thing painfully cracked and almost took my real nail off.  Oh, and last but not least, (and this was recently I'm mortified to admit), I used fake press on TOE NAILS.  Yes, you heard me right.  Trouble was, the nails were REALLY long on my toes and I had just super glued them on and....well no ifs ands or buts, they looked like sh--.  Hubby immediately declared me a gargoyle with those toes.  Desperately, I  tried to pry them off and eventually they were no more.  What possesses me?  Why?  When I began seriously caregiving for my mother, for obvious hygiene reasons, I could not have phony nails anymore.  And I just didn't care anymore. 

That hair remover cream was another adventure in paradise. Yes, I did use it on my legs and it worked ok.  But, did I stop there?  Of course not!!  I had to try it on facial hair, body hair (not recommended...) underarm areas, and  on a suicidal mission from God, the nose hairs that kept popping up. Mind you, this was done in my 20's.  So that makes it more understandable, right?   Much later, someone called me a complete dumb a-- for risking life and limb to burn out a few stray nose hairs.  I have to agree.

My hair.  Crikees, it's a wonder I still have any.  I used to bleach it so white in my younger days, people said I looked like a Nelson twin (reference to 80's twins/sons of rick nelson) YIKES.  Then I dyed a black stripe in it to look cool or get attention. ..It's been red, been highlighted with huge stripes I painted on with a cap, and once I even poured a whole bottle of hydrogen peroxide on the top of my head,  Talk about a brassy, crappy look.  Doing my own perm was a challenge.  A challenge I failed when the result was a frizzy head of complete straw.

Self tanners and bronzers.  I never realized how many people made fun of me when I used the orangy Qt bronzers and self tanners.  There is a knack for that for sure.  Mine always looked streaky I guess.  At times, I used facial foundation on my legs.......that was just silly and washed off all the time.

Now, with a child, it's a good day if I shower.