Mazzy Star: Into Dust (live mtv)

Frankie Smith - Double Dutch Bus

Ok, I'm a suburban white chick who always liked old school, still do. Yea, it's awkward, uh huh, weird. But that's me. In college I would sneak by the music, rummage around, and be one of those asses who plays dj.  I was usually drunk.  Got a lot of dirty looks.

 I can't double dutch.  I never learned in my neighborhood. But I bet it was lots of fun.

Fall and hope

Fall is finally here in the Chicago area.  Time to exhale, eat caramel apples, walk in the essence of crunching leaves and smoky bonfires, and decorate the house for halloween.  It always feels like a rebirth to me; a time to focus on what is important in life.  It is a time of prayer and thankfulness.  We have endured the effects of unemployment and threat of losing our home.  We have endured the deaths of one of our parents; his dad, my mom.  We all endure the plight of whatever happens in life.  And we go on.  Some have it undoubtedly worse than others.  I guess with good fortune, we must never lose our compassion.  Compassion for those who are suffering.  We all must help those who are suffering and defeated and never forget them.....

So, fall is here and I feel a twinge of hope and rebirth.  It is a beautiful time of year and I get glimmers of joy in small things.  But as I look beneath the surface of all nature's joys, I still see foreclosure and unemployment around here.  How does the fall season have to do with the suffering I sense is around me still?

It's damn hard to appreciate the fall colors when your family has been removed from their home and they have no money. 

September 11, 2001

Pray for those who lost their lives on September 11, 2001.

bu bye summer

Summers look so idyllic on paper, in photos and in books.  We moms know, summer can be long, hot, and chock full of mayhem.  A "fresh hell" is always around the corner.  My boy didn't want to go to the beach.....so we never made it.  We saw a couple movies,went on a vacation to visit family, played endless video games, tried camp and withdrew him from camp.  Sensory challenged kids don't need screaming kids assaulting him in a hot gym for 8 hours, everyday.   Oh crap. My bad. Camp worked ok last summer, not this summer.  My job ended so I had  the usual angst about money, but slowly.....ever so slowly, the summer eased into a cool, easier vibe.  I didn't push my boy into doing activities and outings he clearly hated. Money started to trickle in.  (After I prayed like a motherfucker!)  I followed Montesori's philosophy and let the boy lead.  I was so darn tired from all the "work" I did through the years with early intervention, classes, play date arrangements.. etc.....I decided to let him orchestrate HIS summer.  He did practically nothing but video games and TV and hamburgers and fries, pizza and popsicles.  Ice cream truck brought him treats when I had the money.  Animals provided endless fun and fluffy love.  I eased up, basically.  I'm not sure if he benefited from such a low key, non academic or non driven summer agenda.  I still had  the angst, but I recently asked him how his summer was.  He replied,"Great!!"  He was happy. He was relaxed.    He didn't learn how to play the violin or make croatian pottery, but he was a happy kid.  No friggin beach or cocktail could have made me feel better than that. 

cake and future colonoscopies

Holy shit, this looks good!  ...Guess this wouldn't bode well for a future colonoscopy that I need to reschedule.  I couldn't hack the preparation for the damn procedure and vomited said suprep all up.  They did not warn me of this.....I asked doc about taking pills instead of suprep and he poo pood it (beg your pardon...)  saying people have a hard time drinking all the water with the pills.  Well, I had a hard time with the suprep.  Water seems easy!  Sigh.  Now I have to wait until the new insurance kicks in and pray it covers a decent amount of it plus a huge deductible we decided on.  Worse, I fear I will blow this thing off.  My sister had cancer in her colon and a colon resectioning, yet I am fluffy headed about rescheduling.  I don't feel the urgency to do it, yet I know it is urgent.   There's no explaining this behavior, even to me...   I'll make a promise to myself, and for my son that I reschedule.  And I promise I won't eat this cake until after the colonoscopy.  Holy shit!

Odie and Corky are reluctant friends

These 2 don't usually hang out together.  But this shot shows just how clueless Corky the cat is.  Chows are not known to love cats.  Uummmm, just the opposite.  Cork walks around to his own beat.    Could anything soothe the soul of a chilly day more than this sight?

For me, the fluffballs are pure love.